Tuesday June 13th started out normally. I even started a blog post about how the babies weren’t here yet but would be in 48 hours. Er, they came a bit sooner than that! I had my final prenatal appt. that day, so Don stayed home from work to drive me there and so he could hear all the pre-op instructions, ask the dr. a few questions, etc. I was no more uncomfortable than usual and we got to the dr. thinking how great it was that we would have the c-section Thursday morning.

The nurse came in and took my blood pressure and said it was a little high. When Dr. Richards came in, she went through all of what to expect on Thursday morning, then asked me if I had experienced any headaches (yes, Saturday,) stomach pain (Saturday night,) or seeing lights (on and off for weeks, only when moving suddenly.) I knew these were all things to watch out for, but none had occurred concurrently, so I wasn’t really worried. About 20 minutes had passed, so the dr. took my blood pressure again to see if it had gone down. It hadn’t, so she said she wanted us to go to the hospital for monitoring just to make sure everything was all right. She said in all likelihood, I would be sent home, but she wanted to be safe.

We got to the hospital and I was put on fetal monitors as well as one for my blood pressure. The dr. on call from my practice came in maybe 30 or 45 minutes later, took one look at the readings (the babies were fine but my blood pressure was not) and said we were doing this tonight. I was so excited, you couldn’t have smacked the smile off my face. Don, however, about peed his pants. The dr. agreed to give him a couple of hours to run home to let the dogs out, grab our bags, call his mom, etc. I couldn’t believe I was going to be a mom by midnight!

The c-section itself started around 9 when I went into the OR. It was not bad at all – the hardest part was trying to hunch over and breathe at the same time while the anesthesiologist got the spinal/epidural in place. I felt pressure and movement, and then an immense release when Alex was pulled out – like I had just lost 100 pounds instantly. He was born at 9:50. Don even stood up and watched over the curtain – I was so jealous, laying there without seeing. Alex cried like a champ and just 3 minutes later, his baby sister Avery was born. Both scored 8 and then 9 on their Apgars. Very soon after the birth, while I was being closed up, I got the shakes and felt a bit queasy. I couldn’t keep my eyes open and felt seriously drugged out, but it passed by the time I was sewn up and wheeled to recovery.

That’s when the drama really started. My blood pressure was down in the OR, but that apparently happens with anesthesia. As I recovered and the meds wore off, it was going up and up and up again. The dr. did not want to put me on magnesium sulfate, but said she’d have to if things didn’t get better. That would mean staying in labor and delivery for the night instead of maternal child, at least 24 hours of bedrest, and it makes you feel like complete crap too. So as we’re hoping I get better, we also get news that Alex is grunting when he is breathing and is “being watched” but they don’t want to send him to NICU, he’s probably just having some trouble transitioning to breathing air. A few minutes later, as my pressure is still rising, they tell me Alex is going to NICU, and they’re watching Avery now. I’ve barely caught once glimpse and haven’t held either of my babies now, over an hour after delivery. I had hoped to be breastfeeding them by then, ideally. I was disappointed to say the least. Shortly thereafter, both babies were taken to the NICU and I had to go on the magnesium drip. I did get to hold Alex briefly, when a nurse came into the recovery room with him and needed to grab something. I asked to hold him, and did, for just a few minutes. This whole time, I was feeling more impatient than scared. Apparently, the situation with me was pretty serious, but nobody really let that on to me. I thought I was in danger of developing preeclampsia, when actually I HAD it. The medicine was to keep me from seizing as we waited for my blood pressure to come back down. I felt fine, though, which confused me. How could I be so sick and feel alright? Somehow I just knew Alex and Avery were fine; I felt at peace about them.

Finally, around midnight, I was moved to a room in labor and delivery. I would later wish I could have spent the whole hospital stay there – the room was big, the nurses were kind, and Don had a relatively comfy place to sleep. Both babies were in the NICU, and Don was allowed to go and see them after a rigorous handwashing and disinfection process. We were told that both babies had developed a pneumothorax, which is essentially a pocket of air outside the lungs. Avery’s was minor and expected to correct itself, but Alex’s was more serious. He was under an oxygen hood – we called it his Buzz Lightyear helmet – and if it didn’t correct from that, he might need a chest tube. Needless to say, we were very worried. I will never forget Don coming back from seeing them and crying because he was scared, and so was I because I couldn’t even go see them and let them know mommy believed in them and knew they both could get better. Don was allowed to feed them, which I was happy about.

I had the babies Tuesday night. They were in the NICU, and I was in L&D, all day Wednesday. I was really out of it from pain meds and the other meds they had me on, but I was getting really upset that I hadn’t seen my babies. God bless the nurses who really worked hard to make it so I could go to them. Because I was confined to bed, they had to wheel in a stretcher, which I slid onto, and then they wheeled me down the hall late Weds. night into the NICU. Alex and Avery looked so tiny in their isolettes. Alex was still on the oxygen hood, so I couldn’t hold him, but I was finally able to hold Avery for the first time. I had permission to be there for 30 minutes, but as I tried to nurse her, I felt really dizzy and was seeing double. As soon as I said that, I was whisked back to my room. We had lots of visitors Wednesday, all of whom were able to go into the NICU and see the babies. I was so jealous.

I woke up Thursday morning sobbing that I wanted my babies. It was all so stressful – my blood pressure was still very high and it just felt wrong to have given birth 36 hours ago and not have had any real contact with my babies. I missed them terribly and looked at the pictures Don had taken on the digital camera over and over again. They were a day shy of full term and I just never expected them to need such specialized care. Thursday was when things improved, though. Avery was doing better, and she was released to me by early afternoon. I loved holding her and feeding her and just staring at her – such a little miracle! Alex’s pneumothorax also finally cleared up without surgery, and he was released at the same time as I was taken off the magnesium and moved to the maternal child unit. My blood pressure was still high, but not dangerously so.

The rest of the hospital stay was much less dramatic. Don had a really uncomfortable recliner to sleep in, the room was too small, every lactation consultant had different advice for me about feeding the babies, and it all went by too quickly. Before I knew it, it was Saturday and we were being discharged with bililight blankets for the twins, who both had jaundice, and directions for me to monitor my blood pressure which just wouldn’t return to normal. (Side note – at 7 weeks postpartum, it was still borderline!)

My birth experience wasn’t anything like I’d hoped or even thought it would be, but in the end, I have two amazing little beings, part me and part Don, which was what I’d been dreaming of for many years, and that’s what counts the most.